


124. lullaby

by piggy09



Series: The Sestre Daily Drabble Project [67]
Category: Orphan Black (TV)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-05
Updated: 2016-09-05
Packaged: 2018-08-13 03:43:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 642
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7961146
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/piggy09/pseuds/piggy09
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Helena?” Sarah says, slower now. “It’s okay. You’re awake. Just a bad dream.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	124. lullaby

Sarah wakes up to the sound of screaming, hoarse and guttural. Her heart pounds with sudden rabbit-fear, because of the screaming, because she doesn’t know where she _is_ —

The cold, the dirt, the aching in all of her bones. Prison camp. Right. Which means the screaming is Helena, next cell over. Sarah scrambles out of bed and presses her face to the grate – sees Helena thrashing in her bed, yelling, fighting someone who isn’t there.

“Helena,” Sarah says softly, and when that doesn’t work: “ _Helena!_ ”

Helena wakes up, snap, like breaking a branch on the ground you hadn’t known was there. She sits right up. Sweat plasters her tank top to her body and she’s shivering like a leaf.

“Helena?” Sarah says, slower now. “It’s okay. You’re awake. Just a bad dream.”

Helena lets out a long shuddery sigh and then her head shoots up so she can see Sarah. “Go away,” she says, voice anguished. “I don’t want help from you.”

Anger shoots up Sarah’s throat, easy and familiar as bile. “Well I couldn’t sleep with you yellin’ like that, could I? Shit, I try to _help_ , and—”

“I was dreaming about _you_ ,” Helena hisses, and then throws herself off of the bed and moves to an area of her cell that Sarah can’t see. _Shit_. Sarah bangs on the grate a little bit, desperately, calls Helena’s name but doesn’t get an answer. She can hear Helena’s ragged, jumping breathing. Sarah rests her forehead against the grate with a sigh. Her fingers twine through the grate, but: she can’t touch anything, not like this.

“I’m sorry,” she says.

“I don’t care,” Helena says. “Save your sorrys. I do not want them. You can’t eat them. You can’t pick locks with them. No use.”

“That’s not what sorry is for,” Sarah says exhaustedly. “It’s just – so you know. You don’t have to _use_ it for anything, it’s so you know that I feel like shit for what I did to you.”

Helena doesn’t say anything. Sarah’s eyes slip closed without her meaning to. She’s so tired. When is the last time she got a full night of sleep? Not tonight, not with Helena’s screams still ringing around her skull. _I was dreaming about you._ Sometimes Sarah has nightmares with Helena in them, but she never thought that was something Helena needed to know.

“I hate you,” Helena says, like she’s testing the words out. She sounds horrifying amounts like Sarah at age eleven, yelling at S while running up the stairs. _I hate you I hate you I hate you_.

“That’s okay,” Sarah says, words slurred, eyes closed. “You earned it.”

There’s a rustle and when Sarah opens her eyes Helena is _right there_ , face pressed to the other side of the grate. Sarah can feel Helena’s breath on her face. It’s the closest they’ve been in a long time.

“You’re not supposed to say that,” Helena says. “You’re supposed to tell me why I can’t hate you. Why I need to love you, or else.”

_Remember that_ , whispers a voice in Sarah’s brain, but she just lets out a shaky laugh. “I’ll tell you all that shit in the morning,” she says, eyes slipping closed again. “Too tired right now.”

“Mm,” says Helena. She pauses. Says, tentatively: “Sorry.”

“It’s okay,” Sarah says. Her eyes open at a sudden sensation: Helena’s fingertips against hers, through the grate. Helena has her cheek leaning against the grate, close to Sarah’s forehead. They’re both going to have livid red marks in the morning, endless diamonds. Sarah doesn’t give a shit. She lets her eyes slip closed again, brushes her fingertips against Helena’s.

Helena is humming something – _hm hm hm hmmmm, hm hm hm hmmmm_. Sarah doesn’t know the words, doesn’t know how to ask for them. It’s alright. She falls asleep to the sound anyways.

**Author's Note:**

> Helena is humming the vocal bit of [Ой ходить сон коло вікон](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kMG9K9YDGFA).
> 
> Thanks for reading! Please kudos + comment if you enjoyed! :)


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